In an exclusive excerpt from his autobiography, Hugo Lloris opens up about the deep frustrations he felt following Tottenham Hotspur’s heartbreaking loss in the 2019 Champions League final, a setback that left him questioning the club’s true ambition.
The French goalkeeper recalls the build-up to the match against Liverpool, which came less than a year after Lloris lifted the World Cup with France. Despite the excitement, an early penalty decision marred the final and shaped the outcome. Just 24 seconds into the match, referee Damir Skomina awarded Liverpool a penalty for a handball against Moussa Sissoko, a decision that Lloris believes changed the course of the game. In fact, the rule would be changed the very next day, meaning the penalty would not have been given under the new regulations.
“We were killed off from that penalty,” Lloris writes. “It wasn’t the final we hoped for. It wasn’t a great game. And having been to three finals with Tottenham – two League Cups and the Champions League – and scoring no goals in any of them, it was incredibly disappointing.”
Despite the setback, a moment four days before the match left an indelible mark on Lloris’ perception of the club’s mindset. Chairman Daniel Levy had gathered the players to present them with luxury aviator watches, each engraved with their name and the words “Champions League Finalist 2019.” For Lloris, the gesture, while well-meaning, was a painful reminder of the club’s acceptance of mediocrity.
“‘Finalist.’ Who does such a thing at a moment like this?” Lloris reflects. “If we’d won, he wouldn’t have asked for the watches back to engrave ‘Winner’ instead. I’ve never worn it. I would have preferred nothing at all on it.”
This moment, he says, encapsulated his growing realization that Tottenham might not have the hunger to reach the highest levels of success. “When we returned to the hotel after the final, I had the same feeling as Mauricio and Harry: Does the club really want to win? Real Madrid would never have celebrated a lost final, and we shouldn’t have either.”
The emotional fallout from the Champions League defeat lingered for Lloris and his teammates, particularly as Tottenham’s squad struggles continued. Although the club had finally invested in new signings, the team was still reeling from the loss, which ultimately impacted their performance. Further tension arose when the club decided to install cameras throughout the training ground for Amazon’s documentary series, Spurs’ All or Nothing, without consulting the players or coaching staff.
Lloris explains that the constant surveillance created a divide between the squad and management. “We had microphones and cameras everywhere – even at practice sessions. It became a constraint with consequences.”
As the team’s struggles continued, Lloris also reflects on his time under Antonio Conte, a manager driven by a relentless desire for victory but whose extreme methods led to tension within the squad. Lloris recalls a particularly frustrating moment after a shocking 2-1 defeat to NS Mura in the UEFA Conference League, where Conte’s explosive anger became a source of strain.
“Conte lives only by results, and from a player’s perspective, performance matters too. When we lost 3-2 to Manchester United, I told Harry Kane and Pierre-Emile Højbjerg in the dressing room, ‘They may have beaten us, but we’ll finish above them,’ and we did,” Lloris says. “By the end of the season, we found a balance between Conte’s demands and a little self-management.”
Lloris’ account provides an honest and candid insight into the challenges he faced at Spurs, from disappointing final defeats to conflicts over the club’s culture and management. His reflections offer a glimpse into the complexities of life at a club that has long struggled to bridge the gap between ambition and achievement.
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